Basically, I have always been unable to focus one a single task or what I want to do, and I used to always instinctively play a game which is a massive waste of time and I know I want and have to do other things but my mind always loses concentration and defaults back to wasting more of my time.
Then I was somewhat able to cope with it because I just play some games like genshin impact, roblox etc. I do play Genshin now to explore or do my daily commissions, but still now whenever I do get distracted, I just.. don’t know what to do and it is driving me insane. Might be TW in the next section but when I do not know what to do, and I somewhat lost interest in most games I used to play, I start to feel kind of bad about it and sometimes I feel like im on the verge of tears, some say I seem somewhat “depressed” but I don’t even know what it means to be depressed.
It is funny if I think about it but I don’t know what to do anymore. Sometimes when it happens, I feel useless and yes the smaller droplet of water in the vast ocean and the burden of these horrible feelings is just weighing me down. I know it is but I don’t know how to cope with it anymore.
Example of today, I was doing some studying on a certain material, and like 5-10 minutes in, I lost track, tried to play a game and I just can’t.. just can’t bring myself to play it, I ended up playing with someone I talk to a lot, but today I just couldn’t do it much and got mad/fustrated/angry at well nothing?? (Nearly cried half way through that distraction).
For the current time being, music is what keeps me feeling awake and alive. Yet if I think about it too much, it just comes back to me.
Sometimes I just want to escape from society and just stare at the vast ocean ahead of me and just enjoy the breeze you know.
Might be ADHD or something, don’t know what to do about it either and the longer I keep going, the more it pushes me down. If you guys have any form of like feedbacks on how to keep me on track – that would be much appreciated.
Not sure what to say anymore, I forgot half way through.
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